Thursday, November 20, 2014

Blessings despite the trials

So this month is drawing to a close, and for some reason, it has been a really horrible month as far as unexpected trials. Not big things, just things that broke and had to be fixed right away so we could continue living in our house and drive our car. Our sliding door got stuck and had to be repaired, my car battery had to be replaced, the water heater stopped working and had to be fixed so we could have hot water, we had an outbreak of ants on multiple days, we had a problem with our sprinklers, and then yesterday we found out we need new health insurance for the kids by Dec. 1st. For some reason, we never got the letter in the mail, and now we are just finding out, and this means all the wonderful appointments I have lined up for Nathan next month, including his weekly speech therapy, are all in danger of being cancelled due to this problem. Add to this a bad cold for Nathan and my husband. So yes, I have a lot to complain about right now. But I'm not going to complain. I'm going to just take things day by day, and try to focus on more important matters, like my kids.

One blessing amongst the trials: Nathan has been attending his early start intervention class since the first week of November, and is doing so well. He gets to be in the cutest little class for three days a week, 3 hours each time, and I could not be more grateful. He is learning in this class, he is socializing, and he is progressing rapidly. And I, on the other hand, am discovering what it's like to do things without a toddler around, like shower, grocery shop, and just breathe for a little bit.

Another blessing: Blake turned 8, and he was able to have a super fun birthday party. He was able to attend cub scouts for the first time, and soon he will be baptized a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He is doing well in school, and in his piano lessons, and when I take the time to really listen to what he has to say, I am amazed by what a special, smart boy he has become. You know when you get too busy to really listen to your kids, and kind of just halfway agree or respond to what they blurt out at you? Easy to do. But just last night, I forced myself to be truly in the moment with him, not caring about all the other things pressing on me or stressing me out, and I listened to him read a book to me that he was excited about, and we talked about it, and it was like I was seeing a whole new side of him, like I was seeing my child again for the first time. Children really do bring so much joy to our lives.

And finally, the last blessing: Julianna went to the dentist twice this month to have cavities fixed. The first time, it was an easy one that didn't require a shot. But the one she had fixed today did require one, and I could not have been more proud of how she did. She sat still and kept her calm, but did somehow manage to bite the dentist's finger, which I'm sure he wasn't too happy about. And when it was all over, she started to cry a little, and it was because she didn't like the way her mouth felt. I've never had a cavity, so I don't know what it feels like to have my mouth numbed. So I can only imagine what it feels like to a child with autism and sensory issues. Despite it all, she did it! And this is after taking her to a more specialized dentist who said the only way to fix her teeth was to put her asleep because he worried about traumatizing her. This also came with a big price tag, which I did not want to pay right now. But more than that, I really believed in Julianna, and I knew that she could do it this time. I'm so glad I didn't give in to that dentist's demands, and trusted my own mother's intuition. Julianna even said she would have no problem doing it like this again. She's growing up and doing things I never thought she would, and that is a huge blessing.

Most days I am beyond worn out, emotionally and physically. Life just seems too hard most of the time, and I often find myself feeling negative or angry or just in a bad mood. But when I take time to think about the good things that so often get buried in the little trials, and focus on those, life isn't so hard anymore.

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